The mother of all deals
Looks like the mother of all deals has been signed. No, Microsoft and Apple are not merging. Neither are Toyota and Honda. Rather, it is Google and the Mumbai police that have come together. So if you are a member of the “I hate Salman Khan’s hairless chest” community on Orkut and have in the past went off on a rant there that you want to throw acid on Salman for uttering lines like “Hey, I know you.. you are the tellaphone man!”, it is time for you to leave Orkut now, when you can.
As Expressindia announces (link via /.) , a “Landmark deal (has been) signed with Orkut to share ip addresses and help arrest those posting objectionable content“. The article goes on to say that
The Mumbai Police is finally equipped to track down such offenders and bring them to book. A single e-mail between the DCP in charge of the Enforcement Branch and the California-based company will now nail such persons.
In fact it looks like the Mumbai have a fine path already planned out.
We are also hoping to rope in U Tube in the future,..
Cool. The Mumbai Police is going to talk to a company in the suburbs of Toledo (Ohio) that specializes in used tube mills. Fair enough, because after all what is the internet, but a series of tubes! With a keen eye on the supply chain, the Mumbai police wants to nip Internet hate in the bud. If that should not be commended, I don’t know what should be.
But I do have some questions for them. While they are at it, will they crack down on the few hundred idiots who use a picture of the bare torso-ed Salman Khan as their profile display picture. And what about the hundreds of faux Asins, Jyothikas and as if the real one is not enough, Aishwarya Rais?
The brotherhood is really confused. Some of us have flirted with some of these ladies1 and have later found out that these gals are not really Jyothika or Asin. So a large percentage of these innocent gentleman2 have been scarred by the experience. But reading through the article, it looks like there is hope for the brotherhood.
Mohite talks of a citizen who had complained to the police in November regarding a photograph of her posted on Orkut, along with derogatory text.
“She provided us the name of a suspected, but we did not have any proof. After the new agreement was reached, we asked Orkut for the details of the concerned ip address. They replied instantly and we nailed the culprit, who turned out to be the suspect,†said Mohite.
Yaaay! The next step is to convince Jyothika and Asin3 into lodging a complaint with the Mumbai police! I mean, if some random gal uses Asin’s picture and describes herself (instead of describing Asin herself) in the “About me” section of their Orkut profile, that could be termed derogatory right?
And they don’t even have to go all the way and convict these poor girls. I am sure Jyothika can be convinced to drop charges as long as the suspect agrees to replace the still from Kaaka Kaaka with one from the particular scene in Kushi4 where she confronts Vijay Saar about him staring at her navel!
And am sure the gals will want a stop to the whole “make fraandship” routine. I hear that it has become as stale as the two month old can of milk in my fridge. Once that’s stamped out, then there will be no more confusion and the world will be a better place.
And as I post this, I find that my first cricket idol, Krish Srikkanth, is on Orkut too (via UberDesi). No, this is the real deal. Look, he even has the “Orkut Star of Authenticity” on his profile, which means that Orkut has verified that Cheeka is indeed Cheeka. And on top of this, he even has a blog. So, let’s give a round of applause for Google too, for ensuring that the thousands of Jyothika and Asin fans will be disappointed no more. All they have to look for (in Cheeka’s own words), in case of doubt, is the ‘Orkut Star of Authenticity’ that Google/Orkut will present to them, next to their names.
Anything for world peace. Bravo, Mumbai police, bravo. And lest I forget, bravo Google, bravo…
[1] Yes ladies, the SMS lingo, the arbit “roses are red” type poetry etc., are, what us boys term “flirting”. So, act coy, blush and please excuse.
[2] If you want to complain about the Salman Khan loving boys, please! I am sure the ladies are clever enough to see through that juvenile disguise. My only problem is that Salman by himself is hideous. I am actually trying to save the poor boys.
[3] In case you don’t know who Asin is, this is her!
[4] I’d link to the particular photograph, but thankfully I can’t seem to find one on the Internet! So if you want to mentally torture my readers, please email me the said picture and it shall be posted.
ÜberDesi
uber desi dot com http://uberdesi.com/blog
April 4th, 2007 at 4:19 amGlobal Voices Online http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/globalvoices
March 14th, 2007 at 3:19 pmDesiPundit » Archives » Nipping internet hate in the bud http://www.desipundit.com/2007/03/13/nipping-internet-hate-in-the-bud/
March 13th, 2007 at 11:29 am[...] Anantha reports on the deal made with Orkut to track down those posting “objectionable content”. [...]
Global Voices Online » Blog Archive » India: Yay for Mumbai Police! http://www.globalvoicesonline.org/2007/03/13/india-yay-for-mumbai-police/
March 13th, 2007 at 2:05 pm[...] superstarska takes a scathing, sarcastic take on Google agreeing to provide IPs to the Mumbai Police. “But I do have some questions for them. While they are at it, will they crack down on the few hundred idiots who use a picture of the bare torso-ed Salman Khan as their profile display picture. And what about the hundreds of faux Asins, Jyothikas and as if the real one is not enough, Aishwarya Rais?” Neha Viswanathan [...]
capriciously_me
March 13th, 2007 at 7:23 pmsuperstar, i dont see the issue? if they are going to monitor anything via proper warrants and all that, what is the problem? indha oorula calea telecomku irukara maadiri…
superstarksa http://superstarksa.com
March 13th, 2007 at 9:36 pmCM: Aatha.. no warrant. The police will probably get a special login that will give them access to IP addresses and such. Such an arrangement exists between Brazilian police and Google. Check this link…. The issue is, there are a lot issues that the police can act on. Orkut hate communities are the least of those.
Zero http://infinite-circle.blogspot.com
March 14th, 2007 at 3:25 amAll they want is to spread unconditional love in the human race and the rants have already started pouring in!
But, the Indian police won’t hate you, don’t worry, you’ll just be put behind bars if you hate one of them.
superstarksa http://superstarksa.com
March 15th, 2007 at 2:24 pmZero: Me no hate no one. All lurrve and lurrve only!
Deepa http://lordlabak.blogspot.com
March 15th, 2007 at 6:09 pmWhats life without Salman bashing ?
mlc
March 16th, 2007 at 12:01 amyennadhu? u no hate anyone-a? happadi, appo i’m still yr dosth, le? tenjuberrymud!!
serrii … indha lurrve and lurrve all dhaan konjam idikudhey;-)! ippadi yellam ponunga kaadhule vizhundhadhuna, unga maeley radha ku mattum illai, vadivukarasi ku kooda kovam varum!! paathu anantha, paathu!
Santosh http://uberdesi.com
March 16th, 2007 at 10:27 amCrap! I better get unjoin from the “I hate Anu Malik\Himesh Reshmaiya\…” groups on Orkut.
Santosh http://uberdesi.com
March 16th, 2007 at 10:28 amBut then again, the Indian cops cant touch me. I’m an evil NRI
Gabby http://gratisgab.blogspot.com
March 16th, 2007 at 12:03 pmThe brotherhood has way too much time is what it is.
superstarksa http://superstarksa.com
March 16th, 2007 at 3:58 pmGabby: The whole world actually has too much time. The sisterhood has too much time too, it seems. I mean, what’s the big idea with using pictures of cute bollywood/kollywood actresses as profile pictures. If one was shy enough not to show their faces, they could follow the lead from yours truly and post a inane picture of the back of their head. Or don’t post a picture at all.
Santosh: Yes, evil NRI’s cannot be touched or so it seems. But you do have to go to India at some point, no?
mlc: Why would Vadivukkarasi and Radha care who I lurrve? I lurrve the whole world.
Deepa: Ya, he is balding and thinks he’s casanova’s great grandson or something. I mean, he gets permission to miss court dates because he has to go to the Middle East for hair weaving treatment. I wish someone like Stewart or Colbert was mixing things up on Indian TV. Salman is prime material for such fun.
mlc
March 18th, 2007 at 11:43 pmyaenga! that was oru paechukku statement! seri vidunga!
cricket paathutu andha paridhaaba thoalvi-ya pathi yezhudhirpeenga nu nenaichaen! but i guess u’re still shocked from that loss! india indha maadhiri vilayada paaka dhaan wkend matches venum nu thudicheengalo??
Amol http://cookadoodledoo.blogspot.com
March 19th, 2007 at 8:29 amStop all this Salman bashing. Let all us “Gentlemen” aspire to become like Salman. That way we will be able to save millions in clothes as we won’t have to buy any shirts, tees or kurtas. Think of all that revenue going into charity. BTW whats wrong with faux Aishwaryas? The more the merrier.
superstarksa.com | Blog Archive | Holy “mother of all deals”! http://superstarksa.com/2007/03/21/holy-mother-of-all-deals/
March 21st, 2007 at 3:19 pm[...] week, this blogger commented on the “mother of all deals” – the one that the Mumbai police “signed” with [...]
Mumbai Mamus, Marathi Manus and Orkut : uber desi dot com http://uberdesi.com/blog/?p=425
April 18th, 2007 at 9:48 pm[...] one at a time. One of our uber bloggers, aNTI blogged on Orkut censorhip by the Mumbai Police(1, 2) on his personal blog. Orkut seems to be in hot water again in Mumbai with the Mamus (Cops) over [...]
uber desi dot com » Blog Archive » Al Gore honored by Khasi tribe http://uberdesi.com/blog/?p=972
August 30th, 2007 at 11:09 pm[...] of the almighty creator of the Internet and I would even venture to say had Al Gore not created the Internets and the Orkuts and the U-Tubes, UberDesi would be delivered to our readers in the form of scrolls. And knowing us (1,2,3), even [...]